You?ve probably heard the phrase before:
?Once a cheater, always a cheater.?
Is this common bit of love advice true? If your spouse cheats on you, is he certain to cheat again?
Some people, maybe your own pals, will recommend that you leave your husband if he ever cheats on you. They might tell you that he did not value the relationship or marriage, so he clearly doesn?t like you or care about you.
But before you write off your husband or boyfriend and join the scores of jaded and resentful ladies who believe ?all men are dogs? or other such common beliefs, consider this:
Most affairs don?t happen just because the man is a deceptive piece of scum. It?s much more involved than that.
Affairs are really the results of a wider problem in your relationship. If you guy cheated on you it?s because he wasn?t getting one of his needs met in some form in your relationship.
I?m not just talking about physical desires here, either. It could be emotional also. Maybe he didn?t feel respected, perhaps he didn?t feel appreciated, maybe he did not feel loved.
When a man goes around with unmet needs from his relationship, he?s a prime target for an affair. All that it needs is one girl to walk into his life who makes him feel good, and before you know it, he begins to develop feelings for her. And it?s just a slippery slope from a crush to an affair.
Don?t get me wrong, he ultimately made the choice to cheat. I am not blaming you by a long shot. But if you want to have a successful relationship, either with him or with another man, you are going to have to appreciate what happened in this relationship.
If you simply end it and walk away , blaming him for cheating and leaving it at that, you are missing a compellin chance to learn and grow. Take this as a chance to accept accountability for what you did to contribute to the affair. What did you do or not do that at last drove him to cheat?
If you do not take care of this, you will be condemned to repeat the same situation repeatedly again with him or with other men in future relationships.
So , going back to the old saying: ?once a cheater, always a cheater,? is it true?
It really depends. If you can take a look at your relationship and understand exactly what happened and what desires went unmet that ultimately triggered the affair, you can change things.
If your husband or boyfriend starts getting his needs met, you may be stunned to discover just how dependable he will be. It?s not easy to learn and change your relationship, however it definitely can occur.
Therefore I strongly urge you take the time to look at your relationship and not just just brush him off as a cheater without having a look underneath the surface.
If you found this helpful and you?d like to learn more, please check out Dr Gunzburg?s Marriage Sherpa on the webstie Why Do Men Cheat.
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